London Gray
by nerdyfangirl34
Summary: Tessa Gray was perfectly fine with her life in New York. She had an aunt that loved her, friends, a brother. Now everything seems to change as the death of her aunt rattles her steady life. Her brother shuts her out and sends her to a boarding school in London, away from her friends. How will she survive in the Institute with the bully 'Shadowhunters' and barely any friends? WESSA!
1. Chapter 1

It wasn't like I wanted to go to the boarding school that I had won a scholarship to. I was content with my friends here, Clary, Simon, Jace, Alec, Isabelle, and Magnus, and the education wasn't bad. But my brother, Nate, said that it would be a lovely opportunity to receive a better education. Honestly, it sounded like an excuse to get me out of the small one bedroom apartment we have shared ever since Aunt Harriet died a few months ago. Nate had developed a gambling obsession ever since she died, therefore, making it feel like I do live alone, besides the bills barely getting paid by Nate's home job. Mortmain had given Nate a job because my father worked for him. Or, at least he _had_ before he died in a car accident with my mother.

"Everything packed, Tessie?" Nate calls to me from the kitchen. I nod solemnly, wanting to wake up and this just be a horrible dream. That I wasn't leaving my friends, my sanctuary, the only people that keep me going ever since my aunt died and Nate shut me out.

"Have fun!" he calls to me waving as a taxi, already loaded with all my possessions, most of which being books, takes me away. The taxi arrives at the airport and my bags go through security. There, as I am about to walk through security, I spot them.

My friends.

My home.

And I was leaving them!

I rush into Clary's arms. We cling to each other like our lives depend upon it. Which, in all honesty, they probably do.

"You can't forget me! No matter how rich you become from writing your books, or whatever seriously hot guys start crawling all over you, you will never forget me, you will tell me everything, you will still be here for me, understand?" Clary demands.

"Of course, Clare Bear," I say to her, "there is no way I'd ever forget about you or any of you, but don't get your hopes up, because, in reality, there's no chance I'm going to fit in." Eyes glance at me skeptically. "Oh come on! Did you even see that place? It's for billionaires, no, sextillionaires! There is no way I'd go there if I had a choice," I declare. Which is the absolute truth, how was I supposed to fit in with the people I detested at my own school, and they weren't nearly as rich? I wouldn't.

I look at them, all of them, and my eyes start to burn. I cannot cry here.

I cannot cry here.

"Group hug!" Isabelle declares. Within seconds, I am wrapped in Clary's arms, Isabelle's arms, Simon's arms, Alec's arms, Jace's arms, and Magnus's arms, and I realize, that for a long time, this will be the last piece of comfort I will get. No more anything.

No brother, no friends, no closet with nothing but books stacked high in piles, that turn out to be really hard to get out, in it, no scratched couch to do my homework on.

No more home.

Eventually, we pull apart. All of us, even the boys, have tears streaking our faces.

"I'm gonna miss you guys," I barely manage to choke out, stunned at how unstable my voice sounded.

"We'll miss you too, Tess," Magnus says. My friends are the only people who have ever called me Tess. I give them each a hug goodbye.

"Don't forget to call," Clary, Simon, Jace, Isabelle, Magnus, and Alec shouted in unison as I walk through security. I look back at them, they weren't perfect, but neither was I, to me, it doesn't matter if they are perfect or that I am perfect. It only matters that I fit in somewhere.

They were that somewhere.

As I look back, I see Jace comforting Clary, while she sobbed, with tears streaming down his face as well. Isabelle was comforting herself quietly, but eventually turned to Simon and cried into his shoulder. Magnus and Alec both had tears on their faces but were standing there. They said something to the others.

"We miss you already, Tessa Gray!" they shout and then put on a small, broken smile and waved at me. To which, I responded with tears flowing down my face without stop. They were in pain, the people I loved like they were my family, and it was my fault, I was the one leaving.

I boarded the plane, trying not to break out into a complete sob, but to no avail. For as soon as we started to take off, on the roof of the airport, I noticed the tiles spelt out:

WE LOVE YOU TESS

C-J-I-S-M-A

I leaned against the window crying harder than I cried when my aunt came in and told me that my parents had gone, and no, not just for a trip, gone forever.

Crying harder than I did when Nate shut me out, when he shut the world out and began to gamble.

Crying harder than when Nate would come home late at night drunk and would pass out on the couch, sometimes in his own vomit, and I would spend the morning I had cleaning.

Harder than when he would hit me while drunk, blaming me for our parent's deaths, for Aunt Harriet's death, blaming me for all the pain that he tried to drink away every night.

I used to think myself brave, but nothing, _nothing_ in the world could've prepared me for this emptiness. The emptiness of knowing that tomorrow at exactly 11:45 AM in New York, they would be sitting down for lunch, and I wouldn't be there. I would be eating lunch with a handful of snobby kids that would be showing off ten thousand dollar bracelets they would only wear once.

Those are the kids I hate, and they also happen to be the kids I was going to school with. Even worse, one of these girls would be my roommate.

I pressed my forehead against the glass and looked at New York. From above, it looks nothing like the New York I know, the New York that I love, the New York I grew up in.

 _Welcome to the real world_ a voice in the back of my mind tells me.


	2. Chapter 2

When the plane lands, I carry my bags to a car that was waiting for me, provided by The Institute. It was a black Mustang, the nicest car I've ever seen. I felt so uncomfortable putting my bags in the back seat before climbing in myself. The seats were a black leather, and very, very comfortable.

I look at the dark gray sky, _this is nothing like home_.

We arrive at the Institute, a huge looking school, one that looks like a castle. I gulp and remove my bags from the car, and walk inside, awed at how much money they spent on this place. Each chandelier looked like it cost a fortune, and had been decorated like it was from the 1800's, which I admit, is pretty cool. But, yet again, no place for me.

I walk into the front office, where I see a young girl sitting at the front desk.

"I'm Headmaster Branwell, can I help you?" she asked. I cleared my throat.

"Yes actually, I am a new student, my name is Tessa Gray," I reply nervously. She looks at me, eyes wide and bright.

"Um, yeah, yeah! It's just...not a lot of people that actually get a scholarship… actually come," she shares with me and I feel nauseas.

"Oh, but don't worry, it's a great opportunity," she sings with a smile. I almost cough out loud and ask, 'excuse me, what?'.

I swear, if another living soul tells me it will be a great or fun or good opportunity I will end their life. I put on my finest fake smile.

"Yes, well I agree, I cannot wait to start class," I reply, trying to sound like I mean it.

Apparently, I am a good actress as well, she totally bought my enthusiasm.

"Well dear, let's not keep you waiting any longer." She pulls out a folder of paper and hands it to me. "In here, you will find your schedule, your dorm number and your ticket to get your uniforms." I smile and thank her before walking out, bags trailing behind me.

Opening the folder, I spot my dorm number. _Dorm G-14_. I suppose G stands for girls. Following the signs to where the girl's dormitories were, was pretty simple, and it didn't take me long to open the door and shove my things within. Inside, I find a dorm bigger than the apartment that my brother and I share. I stare at the room in awe. I gape at the chandelier that lit up the place.

I gape at the Queen sized bed I get _all_ to myself.

I gape at the closet space. I notice a dresser already filled with clothes, a bed that was already made, but not as straight and perfect as mine, a closet already filled with uniforms and clothes.

My heart starts to pound, why do I have to have a roommate, wouldn't they understand if I didn't? But, no, I must. I hear the lock of the room start to turn and I want to run and hide in my closet. But I don't. I just stand there, staring at the door that would reveal my roommate to me when it opens. Then I see her. She has dark brown hair, so dark it seems black, perhaps it is.

She has a small figure.

But the most mesmerizing of all, she has midnight blue eyes.

I just stand there, gawking at my roommate, how pretty she is, how plain I am. Clary would've stood out with her fiery red hair and Isabelle with her figure, but not me. Not plain Tessa Gray, the only thing remotely interesting about me being my love for old books, such as Dickens. As I stare at her, she stares right back. Awkward silence hangs in the air, but neither of us making a move to break it. I've always been shy, I could've probably stood there for hours, mesmerized by her eyes.

Then she seems to snap out of the trance we both were under.

"Hi, I'm Cecily, your...your roommate I guess," she introduces. She had a very distinct Welsh accent, beautifully rolling out her vowels.

"My-my name is Theresa, Tessa," I amended, "Gray."

"Hello Tessa, well, I should probably show you where to put things and everything and then, we should go get your uniform, classes start tomorrow," she tells me. I nod and smile, she smiles back. It seems perhaps at least someone in this school isn't bratty or snotty from what I can tell.

"Okay, so your clothes go here and you can put everything else in your closet," she starts. I pull out my clothes, dumping them into the dresser she had pointed at. She goes to open my suitcase and all of my books start to tumble out.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaims, as she falls over by all the tumbling books.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaim.

"What kind of madness would ever have driven you to pack a suitcase full of books?!" she yelled at me, astonished.

"I like them…" I say, looking down, embarrassed. She looks at me, then bursts out laughing and before I knew it, I was on the floor laughing too.

I helped her clean up the books on the ground. We put them on the shelf in the closet.

"Phew, that was a lot of work!" Cecily exclaimed to me, brushing the sweat from her forehead.

"Thanks for helping me, you really didn't have to," I tell her, sitting down on the couch, feeling absolutely grateful for the roommate I have.

"It's not a problem, besides, we're roommates now, aren't we?" she asks me while sitting down on the couch next to me.

"Yeah, I guess we are," I say, looking out of the window towards the dark and gloomy sky, feeling suddenly homesick for the sunny one at home.

"There's a few things you might want to know about this school before you start tomorrow," she tells me abruptly. I search her face for any source of silliness, but find none. I nod my head, waiting for her to tell me some news.

"Well, there's people here, on a scholarship, like you, who are smart, not very popular, sometimes picked on people called 'The Shadowhunters'." I take a breath in, audibly. She looks at me and sighs.

"Unfortunately, one of those people is my _brother_ and his friends, and their girlfriends? I...uh...don't know what they call their girls I guess. I don't think they're dating, but they make-out and kiss...A LOT," she says dramatically. I become overwhelmed with the disgusted feeling for her brother.

I thank the Angel that she isn't like him.

"But yeah, as long as you stay away from them, nothing should happen, and don't worry, _Will_ will leave you alone if I give him a good yelling or so," she tells me, fake punching to the air.

"Thanks for telling me," I tell her, "so, what are the classes like?"

"Well, they are good, for the most part, I mean, they are super advanced and everything so it keeps it interesting," she says with a smile, "you'll love them."

We talk for a while longer. She talks me through what they are studying in classes and we talk through what the chiefs had served for dinner.

"Should we go get your uniform?" Cecily asks me after we refolded my clothes and stowed them away in the wardrobe.

"That would be lovely," I reply, opening the door and waiting for her to walk through before shutting it and locking it.


	3. Chapter 3

We walk down the girl's dormitory corridor, and I notice that no one else is around.

"Where is everyone?" I ask Cecily.

"Oh, they're probably at the Nightly Party," she tells me, seemingly it was no big deal to them.

"Nightly Party? By the Angel, who throws a party _nightly_?" I ask her, completely blown out of the water about the fact that there is a _nightly party_.

"First of all, there's always been a Nightly Party, since the first time I arrived, I guess it's sort of a thing, and second of all, did you just say 'by the Angel'?" she asks me.

"I say it often, sorry," I apologize and she laughs.

"What's so funny?"

"I've never heard anything so funny, who, just who says 'by the Angel'?" she says laughing. I guess it is quite funny if you think about it that way, but to me, it is now a habit that I cannot seem to break.

"Me, I guess," I reply, sarcastically, successfully making her laugh about ten times harder.

I hear dance music playing from a room and automatically guess that that's where the party is held tonight. Cecily and I walk right past it and to the Service Office. That's right, there's two different Offices. By the Angel, why?

There I hand my ticket to the lady at the front desk, who wasn't wearing a nametag and didn't bother to introduce herself, so I didn't bother asking.

"Do you usually go to those party things?" I ask Cecily on the way back to our dormitory.

"Yeah, but I'm not a big fan of watching people make-out, dance with one another, drink things with people. Definitely not one of those people who like to watch their brother make-out, quite passionately I might add, with some girl," she tells me, disgust creeping into her voice. I don't blame her, who would want to watch that. I think about watching Nate even kiss a girl and shudder.

"I don't blame you whatsoever, I can just imagine watching my brother do something like that," I point out, shuddering again at the mental image of just how awful it would be.

She laughs. "I probably could be a Shadowhunter, I just don't think I'd like that, you know? I got here on a scholarship, but I was going to be paid for by my parent's anyway, but my brother, just came here on my parent's money, and look where it got him. Making out with a girl, I'm not sure he's still a virgin anymore," she states to me, a fore longing look betraying her cover.

I pull her to me in a hug and she instantly wraps her arms around me. No matter how much pain I was going through moving here, I would hide it around her, just as she tried to do me. We break apart and walk straight past the Nightly Party, which I still can't get over, to our dorm.

Once inside, I walk over to the sink, getting us both a glass of water. "Well, if you don't want to go to those parties, I'm not going, we could always have a party here on our own, like maybe we could play truth or dare!" I exclaim.

She nearly spits out her water. "You'd do that, give up your chance to be popular, for me?" she asks me, clearly stunned, though I had no idea why.

"Yeah of course, I've never been one to like popular kids anyway," I tell her and she giggles.

"Truth or dare?" she asks me. Now this was tricky, I liked answering questions that people have about me, but I also never backed down from a dare.

"Whichever one you want," I tell her with a smirk, though, the reason I'm smirking lies completely unknown to me.

"Then you're doing dare!" she says instantly. I almost regretted saying that she could pick. But, Tessa Gray was never one to back down from a challenge presented to her, and she wouldn't start now.

"Okay then, dare it is," I tell her, successfully keeping my voice from wavering. She smiles, taps her chin, like she was thinking hard then, out of nowhere, pops up from the couch and does a little dance.

"Oooooh, oooooh, oooooh. I've got it!" she practically shouts, I cover my ears and she sits back down. "Sorry," she apologizes.

"It's 'kay," I say and motion for her to continue.

She takes a deep breath, like that would be the only thing to keep her calm. "I dare you to go to my brother's room and destroy his closet. I mean, throw his clothes out of the closet and then come back. Don't worry, I'll come with you and everything, but I'll be hiding!" she says whilst jumping up and down excitedly.

I could handle this one right? I mean, it wasn't like I even knew this _Will_ or anything. "I'll do it, but how are we going to get in?" I ask and she pulls a key out of her pocket, not our key, a boy's dorm key, you could tell by the 'B' on it rather than the 'G'.

We walk down to the boys dorms, snickering the whole way. This was definitely adrenalin pumping. We reached the room and I was fidgeting with my hands. I was about to do something risky. If her brother was the way she had described him, a cold, uncaring, selfish, monster this would be a breeze.

But the thought that this is something that Jace would always dare me to do never wavered from my mind.

 _Jace, Clary, Simon, Isabelle, Alec, Magnus_.

I try to remove them from my mind and focus on the present. I still have to call them. They told me as soon as I got to the dorm, but I completely forgot! I'll call them after I go destroy Cecily's ice cold brother's room.

She puts the key in and twists it in the lock and the door pops open. There I see a neat and clean room ready for me to destroy. I walk in and she closes the door behind us. I take a look in the closet and start whipping out the clothes, ripping some for extra measures. I go the bed, made as good as student could make it and tear the covers off and grab the sheets and the comforter spitting on them for some good fun. Cecily was laughing the whole time, I guess I probably look like a dog looking for attention.

I finish strong, by ripping the curtains down on his side of the room, making Cecily have troubles breathing because she was laughing so hard.

"I..could...get...used..to this," she says laughing. I smile and start laughing.

"We should get going though, before he comes back and literally murders us," I tell her. She nods and we start to leave. We open the door and shut it behind us, locking it.

Just as we are about to walk away, we hear two voices.

"Cecily was supposed to come, why didn't she?" a boy's voice with a slight Welsh accent told another. I guess this is Cecily's brother.

"Crud!" she whisper-shouts to me.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you think we should go check out her room," someone with an accent that I couldn't identify replied.

"Let's just see if she called us," the Welsh one replies. We hear footsteps and before we can run away they spot us.

I can see right away who Cecily's brother is, dark hair, just like her's and the same mesmerizing eyes.

No wonder every girl seemed to be obsessed over him, but the way Cecily described him, I have no want or need to get to know him at all. His companion was pale, paler than me in winter. He had silver eyes and silver hair, a weird but unique combination.

"Cecily Herondale! Where have you been?" the dark-haired boy yelled, Will.

"At my dorm, does it even matter to you?" she asks, trying to get us away before he opens his dorm's door. I don't blame her.

"You were supposed to be at the party!" he shouts at her, I have a very strong urge to punch him in the face, if this continues much longer, I probably will, I've never been one to cower.

"It's just the same stupid old party every night, what's the point?" she asks and I do admit, she has a spectacular point.

"The point is it's a party, you _have_ to come," he replies. She rolls her eyes in reply. "Don't you dare roll your eyes at me!" he basically shouts at her. I want to interject, but I'm not sure he has even realized I'm here yet, he hasn't taken his strong gaze away from his sister yet.

" _You_ are not the boss of _me_ ," she shrieked at him loud enough for probably everyone at the school to hear. He seemed mad, mad enough to tear the whole building down, and, in honesty, with his strength, he probably could.

I think it's high time I interject.

"Let's go Cecily, he isn't worth our time," I say with pride. His eyes flicker over to me. I grab her arm and start dragging her along with me down the corridor.

"Hasta la vista, big brother," Cecily tells him, following me sprinting down the corridor.

"Come back here," I hear him yell, but I only hear it faintly for we are too far away. We open our dorm door and slam it shut behind us so that he cannot enter.

"God, that was close," Cecily breathes. I laugh, now we wait until he sees what I did, what we did.

"Thanks, back there by the way," Cecily tells me.

"For what?"

"For saving me from my brother's wrath."

"Protective much?" I ask and she giggles with a nod. We hear a loud knock on the door and then a whole bunch of cursing.

"Cecily Herondale!" I hear the familiar voice, that belongs to the one and only William Owen Herondale, shout into the door. This is closely followed by a bunch of things that are most likely banned from student's vocabulary in this school and in every other school there is. "You open this door right now!"

I shook my head and she shook hers so we stayed silent as he banged on the door, growing more mad by the minute.

"CECILY!" he shouted at the door, with us unmoving on the other side. I begin feeling that the small wooden door between us wasn't enough. Maybe add a little metal to it and everything and I'd feel safe.

"Will, calm down, maybe it wasn't Cecily," the voice from earlier said. _Yeah_ the voice in my head said. _Calm down, don't murder us_.

"Who else could it have been? She's the only one that had a key besides us, and you were there when she was outside of our dorm!" Will shouted to this person.

I immediately feel bad for them, they have to literally live with Will.

"Oh pish posh, Will, so what if she messed up our dorm?"

"So what? So what? Oh, you don't wanna ask me so what!" Will shouted back and then pounded on the door some more. "Open up Cecily, right now, and the consequences won't be as bad as they are going to be if you don't open the door right this instant."

She sucks a breath in and looks at me, with pleading eyes. I want to tear this William apart, for installing this fear into my new friend.

"Whatever you need to do," I reply in a whisper. She nods.

"William, you will murder me if I open this door," she replies to the pounding, psychopath on the other side of the door.

Will makes a scoffing noise, and the voice from earlier replies for him. "I won't let him do that Cecily." I would hate to be the person that apologizes for Will's behavior, I would just untie him and say, 'hope you find it fun when someone murders you for your actions.'

"And how do you suppose you'd stop Will from killing me and my friend, Jem?" Cecily replies. I take a moment to process that she called me her friend, then smile until I realize that Will will just kill me instead of her.

"And your friend?" the boy, Jem, asks.

"Yep, my roommate and friend," she replies.

A pause in the knocking on the door occurred and Jem did not reply. I looked over at Cecily and she made a confused face.

"Jessamine, how lovely of you to show up," Jem says, sarcastically, I could tell, but it didn't seem apparent to her for she giggled.

"Will, you left me there at the party, all alone, waiting," she informed him seductively. I shudder visibly.

I pretend gag for Cecily's pleasure and she covers her mouth to stop herself from laughing.

"I have to do something," he said, just as seductively, "then I'll be back, tell Gabriel and Gideon that I have to deal with CH."

We hear footsteps walk away as Cecily mouths to me, 'CH is my 'code' name.'

"Come on, Cecily, open up," Jem says. She looks at me and I nod, ready to face this monster of a Will.

She carefully undoes the lock and pulls the door open to reveal the silver eyed and silver-haired boy named Jem, holding Will's, the midnight blue eyed and black haired boy, hands so he cannot murder us. Why is it that the handsome one is always the bad one?

Did I just call Will handsome?

No.

Nope, nopety, nope. That didn't happen.

"Cecily," he breathed, anger evident in his voice, "what were you thinking?"

"Tessa and I were trying to have some fun," she replied, trying to keep the fear from her voice.

The confusion is evident in his eyes, his eyes, eyes a whole dimension themselves. You could lose yourself in them…

No!


	5. Chapter 5

"Tessa?" he asks, clearly confused, but I guess I must be invisible or something, because him nor Jem have looked over in my direction for this whole time being. I want to shout in their faces, 'I'm right here, suckers, come and get me!'

"Yeah, Tessa, why is that such a surprise to you?" she accuses him and by the look on his face, he has some feelings because he definitely looks as though he feels guilty for not remembering my name.

"Uh, Tessa?" he repeats again, then side glances to Jem, who shakes his head, as if to say, no luck, I don't remember this girl either.

"Ugh, you two are impossible!" Cecily says, defeated, and I couldn't help but to laugh.

Instantly, Will's and Jem's heads turn to me and give me the once over. Cecily walks over and puts an arm around my shoulder. "Meet Theresa Gray, my roommate, but she goes by Tessa," she introduces. "Oh, and she has this crazy obsession with books, like A Tale of Two Cities and books by Dickens, she packed a whole suitcase full of them!"

Great, she just had to point that out. Jem smiled and Will had this look on his face like his world was ending.

"Room mate?" he questioned, in a very high pitch.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" I ask. Cecily smiles, probably at my bravery. I am proud. It will get me in trouble someday, but today it makes me brave.

He raises his eyebrows at me. "What did you just say to me, a Shadowhunter?" he asks me and I scoff.

"I _said,_ 'Yes, do you have a problem with that?' I refuse to repeat myself to you or anyone else, no matter if you are a _Shadowhunter_ or not. By the Angel, you and your people need serious help. I could suggest a therapist, but I know that she'll just send you and your _Shadowhunters_ straight to the mental hospital, so I suggest, instead, that you go there," I tell him. "Now, if you're done rudely snooping around Cecily's and I's dorm, I have a call to make."

He stares at me, and I wonder if he speaks English. "Do you understand or must I speak idiot for your brain to process? I said scram!" I yell at him.

Jem grabs Will by the arm and pulls him along out the ajar door, down the corridor, him gaping the whole way.

"By the Angel, he seems like a lot of work!" I exclaim to Cecily, shutting the door. I notice that she isn't smiling and isn't laughing. "Is something wrong?" I ask her, concerned.

"How did you just say that to him? How? I can't say anything like that to him, I don't know why, I just can't, and any girl can't seem to _resist_ him, so how do you do it?"

"Uh, I just remember what he puts you through and it pretty much fuels me enough," I tell her. She nods. "Sorry, I have to video call my friends, they're already going to kill me for waiting this long."

I walk over to my bed and pull out my laptop and get skype ready, I see they've sent me multiple messages and I instantly feel guilty, they had this sleepover for me.

I start a call and wait about a couple seconds before they pick up.

"There you are! We've been worried sick!" Clary informs me.

"I know, I know, sorry, I've been...sorta busy.." I tell her and everyone else.

"Details, darling, details," Magnus reminds me. I wind up telling them the whole story about arriving and how horrible the weather was today, and how different the Institute is from our school. I also didn't forget to mention the nightly party, which they thought was absurd as well. I faltered on the part about Will, not knowing how to describe him. Eventually, I decide on everything I hate in a person and they nod knowingly.

Oh, how I've missed them. They tell me news from their school, who knew I could miss so much in only one day.

Alec got his first B of the whole year, which was surprising, he rarely gets anything less than an A.

Clary painted a painting for me, which she would give to me when I came to visit in two weeks, though they didn't know that, they didn't know when I would be visiting them. I haven't told them yet.

Jace became a second degree black belt, receiving his belt just after I had left. I congratulated him.

Simon had watched the new Star Wars movie and began to rant about it to me, with me ranting back, for I had seen it already.

Isabelle had designed a new outfit, a beautiful dress with shoes that she had sent for me to wear, I told her of my appreciation.

Magnus had helped make it, with him doing all the glitter on the dress, and it looked spectacular, it was the color of the sunset and the glitter only helped it. For the weather, they said.

"Oh you have no idea how much I miss you!" I tell them, wanting the distance between us to cease to exist, just me right there with them.

"We've missed you so much, but we have to go to bed, it is 3 AM here you know," Isabelle says.

"Yeah, okay, goodnight Izzy, Clare, Alec, Magnus, Jace, and Simon, call me tomorrow!" I remind them.

"We will, night Tess," Jace says and then the screen goes black and their gone. I feel deflated. Nothing left in me. I desperately want the two weeks to be nothing. For me to get on a plane home right this instant. But I know that I have to survive two weeks to deserve that.

With all that I've done, I've made some very powerful people angry.

And a friend.

Sounds just like me to do that in six hours I've been at a school.

I crawl into bed, and realize that I wasn't alone in the dorm.

"Tessa?" Cecily asked.

"How long have you been there?" I question her.

"Long enough to hear how much you miss them, what's it like?"

"What is what like?"

"To have friends like that, friends that would paint you paintings. Friends that would tell you that they got a B on their test because you were gone. Friends that would make an outfit just for you and friends that you would do anything for?" she asks me, I try to interrupt, to deny, but she stops me. "Don't. I know you are trying to hide it, but there's no need, I want to be friends with you, but I don't expect to be your only friend, I just ask that you actually give me a chance, please?"

"Why wouldn't I? I need friends here, besides, I think that they'd like you, if you want, you can talk to them with me when I call them again," I offer.

"I'd like that, goodnight Tessa."

"Night, Cecily."


	6. Chapter 6

I awake to an alarm clock screaming at me, an alarm clock louder than the one at home, that would rarely have a successful day and actually wake me up. I jolt up, thinking that it might be the fire alarm, until Cecily informs me that this noise was just the alarm clock.

I change into my school uniform and brush out my hair. I stare at my reflection, hoping that it's enough to get me through the day, though I doubted it.

I walk out to where Cecily was waiting for me.

"Ready?" I ask.

"You have got to be careful, Will just doesn't forget things like what you did, and he tells his friends and then, it's almost always game over," she informs me.

"I'll deal with it, I have some experience dealing with people like this, just not without…" I let myself trail off.

"I know, Clary, Jace, Simon, Isabelle, Alec, and Magnus."

"How do you know-"

"I was listening, remember, I saw how easy it was for you guys to laugh and tease each other, how you were holding off crying, I saw it," she reminds me, and I become silent.

We walk down to the room where we'd be eating, hand in hand. When we walked in, everyone became silent. Some whispers scattered all around the room, making me feel uncomfortable. 'She's Will's sister, though, she's nothing like him, she's nothing'. 'The one on the left, she's the one who said those horrible things to Will, she'll pay'. 'They are both worse than criminals, they completely don't care about how sacred the Shadowhunters are'. Basically people whispering things about us all around. I pull Cecily's arm to keep us moving. Sitting at a table that a lot of people were sending glances to, was none other than William Herondale, sitting with Jem, and two other boys I didn't recognize.

Three girls took their seats at the table, one sitting by Will, and the other two sitting by the boys I haven't met yet. I wondered if perhaps Jem's girl was sick. Cecily and I got in line and eventually we both picked chocolate chip pancakes without any syrup, but filled with whipped cream. We both giggled at the similarities. We sat at the very right side of the lunch room, alone completely. No one sat by us, but every so often I would catch people glaring at us, especially the people sitting with the infamous Will and his crew. The very people I said must be put into a mental hospital.

Oops.

Was I sorry?

Not at all.

We ate and talked and laughed and didn't care about what anyone thought of us, just like we should. When we finished eating, we walked to dump our trays and put them away. On our way back, we happened to be stopped by Will, Jem, the two boys from earlier and the three girls from earlier as well.

The seemingly Shadowhunter crew that I had told to go to a mental hospital.

Fun.

"Well well, if it isn't _Theresa_ Gray," taunted Will.

"It's Tessa to you," I retort. The girls look about ready to murder me. Let them try, let them try, and if they lay a finger on me, I'll get the gang here and we'll teach them a lesson of manners.

"Well aren't you just one lovely flower," Will murmurs loudly. It seemed he didn't want me to hear, though I know all too well that he did. Everyone standing by him stifles their laughs, except Jem, who doesn't laugh at all.

"That's me," I say in reply earning a laugh from Cecily and _Jem_.

Will's midnight blue eyes hit my gray eyes before switching over to glare at Jem. "What was that?" he asked carefully, like he might explode.

"She's funny, so brave," Jem replied and I feel again that today I am brave, but this will get me in trouble some day.

Will's fists became clenched. "No she isn't, she's just an imposter, making everyone think that she's one thing when really, she's the complete opposite," Will said to everyone, making the Shadowhunters laugh, including Jem, and Cecily clench her fists instead.

"You wish," I mutter. But, he heard me.

"What did you say?"

"I said 'you wish', what did I say to you about not liking to repeat myself?" I ask him angrily. He sucks in a breath right as the bell rings to signal classes were to start in a half an hour. I start to walk away, but not before Cecily comes and walks next to me away from Will and his Shadowhunters.

By the Angel, I hate those people already! They are going to give me troubles. So much trouble. Cecily and I stop by our dorm to pick up our books for classes, my first class being Advanced English Lit.

Unfortunately, at this time Cecily had gym, so we say our goodbyes and I head off to study the Classics, my favorite books. I take a seat in the front, awaiting the teacher's arrival. I was first, even before the teacher, so when he staggered in five minutes from being late, I gave him a fright.

"Woah!" he exclaims, startled. "What are you doing here already?"

"I'm here for class, my name is Tessa Gray, I'm new here," I introduce. He comes and holds out his hand.

"I'm Mr. Branwell, Headmaster Branwell's husband," he told me with a smile.

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Branwell," I greeted as I shook his hand.

"I see you've met Theresa," a voice from the doorway interrupts, a voice I know all too well. I peer up at him and see the same blonde girl standing next to him from earlier.

I know that must be his girl, the ones that aren't necessarily their girlfriends.

"William, Jessamine, you're early," Mr. Branwell tells them.

"Yes, well, we had no other place to be rather than here, apparently," Jessamine replies with a smirk my way.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Do you know these people, Tessa?" Mr. Branwell asks me.

"Yes, Cecily Herondale is my roommate, so, unfortunately, I have gotten to know at least one of them fairly well enough to know the basic outline of their character. And the other, probably not that much different, though I'm wondering how these two got into Advanced English Lit." I reply cautiously.

"Oh, we aren't the only ones," Jessamine says, and in walks Jem, the two boys from earlier, and the other two girls from earlier, the whole Shadowhunter group.

"By the Angel," I mutter under my breath, thankful no one seems to hear me.


	7. Chapter 7

All seven of them take a seat in the back, away from me. Mr. Branwell walks up to me and whispers, "I see you've already tangoed with the Shadowhunters, you're my hero, Miss. Gray," and walks away quickly. I don't think any of the Shadowhunters even noticed that he said anything to me at all.

When everyone had walked into class, and the bell had rung, I still had no one sitting next to me. In fact, besides the Shadowhunters and I, there didn't seem to be more than five other kids in this class.

"So today class, we will be discussing the book A Tale of Two Cities, that you were in fact assigned to read, Miss Gray, are you familiar with this book?" he asks me.

"Familiar? Why, it just so happens to be my favorite book of all times!" I exclaim, happy with the turn of events. He eyes me curiously.

"In that case, Will and Tessa will be partners for the project instead of Will and Jessamine because Will had just so happened to say that he was familiar with the book as well. Jem and Jessamine shall be partners instead," Mr. Branwell announces and looks sympathetic in my direction, well he had better be sorry! Now I just happen to be stuck with the oh-so-familiar William Owen Herondale and I have to write a book report with him, or, probably with myself.

Groans erupt everywhere from everyone, even though it doesn't affect more than half of the class population, they probably were just mimicking their leaders, like any puppet would. Thoroughly disgusted is one way to put how I was feeling.

"That's not fair!" Jessamine protests, "he is _my_ partner, _mine_ , all _mine_."

Now I know the _first_ word Jessamine ever said.

"Mr. Branwell, please reconsider your thoughts," Jem begs politely.

Will looks completely speechless.

"I have, indeed, reconsidered it, and yet, my answer has not changed, would you like to challenge this?" he asked seriously.

Everyone shook their head no instantly and the moans, groans and cries had been silenced at once. I don't even want to ask.

"Great, then, get with your partners immediately and start writing a full blown summary, leaving no parts of the story out. The minimum requirements for this assignment is there has to be at least two-thousand words and it is due in five days, I suggest you and your partner work on it together out of class. But I'm giving you class time to start. Go!" he instructs us.

I stand up and search the room for Will, who is still sitting in his seat, surrounded by the Shadowhunters. So, me being me, I stay there, glaring at them. And them being them, they glare right back.

"Mr. Herondale, do we have a problem? I said that your partner was Miss Gray, and I suggest that you get your butt over to work with her, or I might have you do the assignment alone," he says deathly serious.

Will starts to move from where he sat with the Shadowhunters. He began to move to where I stood, in the front of the classroom. Mr. Branwell watching him like a hawk the whole way.

"Why don't you two go into the hallway, there you'd find yourself much more comfortable, not so many eyes," Mr. Branwell suggests before opening the door to kick us out of the classroom.

I go willingly, but Will glares to make his point to Mr. Branwell before following me into the lonely corridor. Honestly, I'm scared of this Will, but me being me, I refuse to admit it to anyone but myself, Mr. Branwell will never know, Mr. Herondale will never know, Miss Jessamine, whatever her last name is, will never know.

"So are you going to help with this report, or am I going to have do it all by myself?" Will asks me. I almost burst out laughing.

I thought for sure I was to do this by myself.

"Are you kidding, I love this book, if anything, you are going to make me do it all by myself!" I exclaim back at him. He looks troubled for one second, those beautiful blue eyes twinkling…

No, Theresa Gray, no!

"You love A Tale of Two Cities?" he asks me.

"Yes, yes I do," I reply.

He smiles. Holy Crow!

He smiled.

 _He_ smiled!

At me.

I admit, he looks even better with a smile. Is that even possible?

Theresa Gray! Get your head on straight! Remember, you dumb head! He hates you! He's your roommate's brother! You just moved here! He has a girlfriend...well...sorta, but still!

"Me too, well, I'm not so sure about _loving_ the book, but I definitely like it, what did you think of Romeo and Juliet, if you've read it?" he asks me.

"I thought Romeo and Juliet to be quite foolish. But I rather admired how much they loved each other. I mean, they didn't let anyone affect if they loved each other or not, they made the decision to love each other against their family, which is pretty powerful. A strong love, one might proclaim," I finished. He wasn't looking at me, but looking at the ground rather, he looked pained.

"Only suckers read those stories," he tells me, without actually looking at me, but the same expression still plastered on his face. I don't believe him, but I don't say so. The last thing I need is another reason for him to kill me, am I right, me?

Yep, I am.

"Fine, do you want to write about the first or second half of the book? I couldn't care less, I love each half equally so," I say, getting us both back onto the assignment.

He folded his arms, back to cold Will I see. Is this what I am going to have to live with, does he ever come over to our dorm? Oh, by the Angel, help me. Of course it is!

"I don't care," he says, with no emotion whatsoever in his voice.

"Fine! I'll do the second half!" I say frustrated. How are we going to work together if he can't even decide what half of the book he wants to write about?

"Remember, _you_ are to write at least one thousand words, just as I am," I tell him, before grabbing my laptop and beginning writing. He does the same. His laptop is much more newer than mine, but I need not dwell on that fact.

We sit there in complete silence as I write and, well, it seems like he's writing, but honestly I have no idea whether he is or not.

I stop a few times to email my friends back home.

 _To Clary Fray, Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis_

 _Hey guys,_

 _It's me, Tessa. I have no idea what time it is there, but here, well, I'm in the middle of my 1st hour class, and you know William Herondale? Well I am officially assigned to write a two-thousand word book report with him! Lucky for me it's only on A Tale of Two Cities. I miss you guys so much!_

 _Love you lots,_

 _Tessa_

The bell rings, so I pack up everything, close my computer and rush the heck out of there. Before the rest of the Shadowhunters would get out of class. I am trying to avoid all of them, which with Will would be hard and everything. But especially Jessamine, she's probably super jealous that I get to be partners with Will.

Lady, you can have him.

I don't want him.

 _You do though,_ a voice tells me.

"No," I mutter under my breath, "no I don't."


	8. Chapter 8

My next class was gym, so I know Cecily wouldn't be in my class. All I know is that I'm thankful, she won't have to see how horrible and clumsy I am at it.

I just hope that none of the Shadowhunters would be in my class as well.

I don't know whether we have gym uniforms or not, I wasn't informed, so I decided to wait in the gym until a student or a teacher comes around and see what they are wearing. I don't like gym, I have always had bad experiences in gym, mainly because I swear I've been cursed my whole entire life. It is rip-your-hair-out frustrating. I trip over every single thing in my way.

A student walks in wearing their normal clothes. Good, we probably don't have to change then.

I am about to go ask them until I realize who 'they' are. Will.

I just never land a break do I?

Of course I'd have to be with him in gym! Was there ever going to be another way?

Nope.

Of course he'd watch me inflict pain on others or myself in participating in activities that shouldn't be hard and yet they are.

Just before he can say anything, a teacher and Jem walk in.

Great, not just one Shadowhunter, but at least two.

And by the Angel if there's two, there's probably more.

In short, I was right. Soon after the other two boys santer in, about two minutes late. I hit my hand to my forehead. Why? Just why?

Luckily Jessamine and the other girls didn't show up too, just the boy Shadowhunters that I'll have to deal with.

"Class, we have a new student with us today, let's see what she's made of!" Mr. Lightwood yelled, getting hoots from everyone in the class besides the girl sitting right next to me.

"If he just could leave new students alone," she muttered to me. I see her face has a scar and wonder what happened, though I'm not rude enough to ask so.

"I'm the worst at gym, way too clumsy," I tell her while the teacher and the class made plans for my day in gym.

"I'm Sophie Collins," she introduces.

"Theresa Gray, but you can call me Tessa," I inform her. She nods and we sit there as I hear their suggestions for what I'm to do.

By the Angel! They want me to play with swords? What kind of gym class is this? Murder 101?

"No, we should have her fence us! Or even better, we should have her and Will have a face-off at knife throwing!" one of the Shadowhunters that I haven't been introduced to yet shouts to everyone.

The chorus of yeses that followed showed that everyone here, besides Sophie, didn't like me. Fine! Let them, I hate every single last one of those rich kids, wearing bracelets that cost a fortune only once.

" _She_ is right here!" I shout at them. "Do whatever you want, but you aren't to talk about me as if I'm not here!"

All heads turn to me. The teacher looked about ready strangle me.

"Who gave you the permission to speak, Miss Gray?" he asked me, carefully.

"Everyone else was speaking, I didn't know everyone discluded me," I fire back.

"Sons, did we give her permission to speak?" Mr. Lightwood asked his children, though I had no idea who they were.

"No," two boys chorused together, the two Shadowhunters I didn't know.

Oh, by the Angel!

"Gideon and Gabriel, have you met Miss. Gray yet?" Mr. Lightwood, their dad asked them.

"Not really," one of them replied, I have no idea which one of them answered, Gideon or Gabriel.

"Gideon is right, we haven't met her yet, but Will and Jem have," the other one replied, which, I'm assuming is Gabriel.

"Yeah," Will and Jem added.

I clench my fists in anger. This would not be a good year. I want to go home, to my friends.

I remind myself to keep Clary's redhead temper, Isabelle's bad buttness, Alec's courage, Magnus's obsession with glitter, Simon's smartness, and Jace's sarcasm and I'd survive.

"Again, I'm right here," I remind them.

"We were having a private Shadowhunter discussion," Mr. Light _worm_ said. Excuse me, Mr. Light _wood_.

"Not that private, since I can hear everything you are saying," I inform him, though I know that he knows this.

Jem started laughing. Gabriel, Will, and Gideon all scowled and glared at him. I smirked at them.

"What's so funny, Jem?" Will asked Jem, challenging him.

"Nothing, Will, just nothing," Jem replied and went back to a scowling look like the rest of them.

"I suggest you learn to keep that temper under control, or you're going to have a tough year," Mr. Lightworm warned me. I smile.

I refuse to not stand up for myself.

I refuse to let them take away all the traits I have gotten from my friends.

I refuse to give the biggest part of me up.

"Is there a reason you're smiling, Miss Gray?" Gabriel asked me. All heads turn to Gabriel and back to me.

"None that you would understand," I reply sweetly, with a smile.

"All right, let's get to work, Miss Gray, please grab a knife," Mr. Lightworm instructs me. I grab one that he points at.

I flip it over and over in my hand.

I knew it.

This is Murder 101.

Will goes over and grabs a knife as well, and now there is two spots missing the knives that they were once holding.

He stands at the ten feet line away from a target that was like one that you would practice archery on.

He brings his arm back and releases. It sticks at the line between the dead middle and the outer ring of it.

He smiles to say, 'good luck, loser.'

Not today.

Lucky for me, Jace, Clary, Alec, Isabelle and I had made it a game for us to throw knives at smaller and more far away targets than this. I always hit it straight in the middle, making me the winner every time, and making them to invite me less and less.

It might serve me well today.

I clutch my knife and go to stand where Will was once standing, just a mere six seconds ago. I release my breath that I was holding and bring my arm back.

 _One, two, three, four._ I released the knife and it went cutting through the air. With a bang it hit the target, right smack in the middle, crowning me the winner.

Silence erupted, as everyone inspected the knife in the middle of the target.

Compared to Will's at the outer of the middle of the target.


	9. Chapter 9

"She wins," Sophie announces before anyone could try to deny it. "Miss Gray wins."

The silence still hung in the air, no one daring to break it, so I go over by Sophie and take a seat, waiting for instructions from Mr. Lightworm.

"Um, class, Miss. Gray won.." Mr. Lightworm announces. I smile at Sophie and she smiles.

"Thanks," she says to me in a whisper.

"For what?" I ask her, completely confuzzled, Clary and I's word for confused.

"Showing them that they don't rule," she replies. I nod.

"She didn't beat me!" Will yells at the rest of the boy Shadowhunters. "Stop saying that she beat me!"

"Oh, but she did," Jem teases.

"Oh, but she didn't," Will replies.

"Oh, but she did," Gideon teases.

"Oh, but she didn't," Will replies, growing more irritated by the minute.

"Oh, but she did," Gabriel teases.

"No! You guys!" Will yells, defeated. The other Shadowhunters laugh.

Sophie sighs. "I wish that they were as fun and light and teasing with everyone, and not such jerks to all of us, they would actually be cute."

"I know! Will's sister is my roommate, do you want to sit with us at lunch?" I ask her. She nods and smiles, and I smile back.

"Tessa!" I hear Jem's voice call me.

I look up to see all four of them standing there.

"What do you want?" I ask, ready to attack them.

"How did you get good enough to beat Will at knife throwing, and will you teach us?" Gideon asked.

"You, the high and mighty Shadowhunters, want me, the plain new student, to teach you how to throw knives?" I asked, completely freaked out, sensing this to be a trap.

"Yeah, you beat Will, nobody else can, you aren't plain if you can beat Will!" Gabriel exclaims.

"We don't need her, she is nothing!" Will announces, clearly upset that they would even be considering this idea.

"Am I only nothing because you are completely worried that I'll replace you? Someone better than you at knife throwing, someone that loves A Tale of Two Cities more than you? Are you afraid I'll replace you?" I ask. "'Cause don't worry, you're entirely irreplaceable, I couldn't be as cold as you if I tried."

"You'd be surprised at what you can do if you try," he whispers and looks at the ground. Confuzzlement fills my brain as I try to understand what Will said, why he said it, but I don't try to question it.

"So, will you help us?" Jem asks.

"Fine," I say exasperated.

"Yay!" Jem says and walks with the rest of the Shadowhunters to their next class. I'm left to be confuzzled at what they meant. I take a journey to my next class, .

For the first time in class, I recognize no one, not any of them. No Shadowhunters, no Cecily, no Sophie.

Maybe it was because I was in Advanced Math, calculus two, but I wasn't sure.

The whole thing was so boring, math lectures always seem to be that way.

I wonder if it's because I understand math. I felt I knew it all, when the teacher would say the answer to a problem, it's like I get it. I can understand why, even if they don't tell me right away.

It's a gift that I have, along with my musical talents and love for reading and writing.

Cursed with is a different story. Incoordination, which makes gym hard, but perhaps not this gym, for it seems to be Murder 101. The lecture was a boring one, quite often math was just boring lectures.

Next, I have music. I honestly don't know what to expect, I hadn't expected that I'd need to take music, at my other school it ended being required in Middle School.

I walk in and notice there is no chairs, so I take a seat on the floor, waiting.

Eventually a teacher came and introduced himself as Mr. Graymark. I introduced myself to be Tessa Gray before the other students started coming in.

Of course Will and Jem showed up, what did I expect, but none of the other Shadowhunters did, to which I was thankful.

"Alright class, we are going to study Beethoven today and there will be a test on him on Friday, so I suggest you get studying. I will not tell you what to study, I think by now you guys should know what to expect on my tests," he says and everyone scatters.

"Ah, Miss Gray, just study where he was born and how many compositions he wrote, things like that and you shall do fine," he told me.

"Thanks," I tell him, before I began to studying in a corner where the lamp sat.

I was studying and taking notes, feeling good for studying Beethoven and class was over. Lunch time.

I headed back to drop my books and laptop at Cecily and I's dorm. When I was just about to open the door I hear a scream.

"Will! Get out! Get out!" Cecily screamed and I flung the door open. There Will was kissing Jessamine on _my_ bed.

I seriously gagged.

"What are you doing in our dorm?" I shout-ask Will and he stops mid-kiss.

"This is my sister's dorm, you know," he says, as if that excuses his behavior.

"That doesn't mean it's yours too!" I tell him before going and pushing his sorry butt out of my bed.

"Get out!" I shout at him and push him and Jessamine out into the corridor.

Then I slam the door in their faces before he or Jessamine could say another word and make me go on a murder rampage.

Which I've been thinking about quite often with him and his followers. I hope I hit their faces or something to make them have pain, pain for the pain Cecily was feeling, and for the pain I felt for Cecily.

That decided it.

I was to murder him some day. Most likely sooner than later.

I look over to Cecily and she looks completely deflated.

I guess finding out your brother is something of a monster is knock-the-wind-out-of-you hard. I don't think that I would've handled this any better if it were my brother.

I probably would've gone on rampage, perhaps committed murder to the girl he was with. Perhaps murdered him too.

But none of that was important.

What _was_ important was how Cecily was.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, praying that she was.

Her lips tremble before she comes and collapses in my arms, sobbing hysterically. I hold her as she cries and rub her shoulders. Somewhere in between I started crying too. Crying for her pain, crying tears of anger for this William Owen Herondale that was ruining her life.


	10. Chapter 10

In the end, we completely skipped lunch.

Both of us decided we weren't hungry and instead took my bedding to the laundry place to get the 'cooties' off of it. By the time that classes were going to start, we were both laughing, we had a plan afterall.

During the Nightly Party, we would steal Will's key to his dorm and our dorm key from him, so he had no access. Sure, he would probably just ask Jem, but still, he won't have access to our dorm anymore to do what he had done earlier.

We tried not to speak of it by using the code name 'purple'. Because, you know, pink (girl) and blue (boy) make purple.

Luckily, Cecily and I have Life Science together. Will and the Shadowhunters might be in the class, but we just cross our fingers and hope for the best.

Which would be that we won't ever see William or Jessamine or any of their accomplices ever again.

But, I know that was impossible. I had Murder 101 with Mr. Lightworm with the boy Shadowhunters and music with Jem and Will.

And I had Advanced Lit. with the whole Shadowhunter group.

By the Angel! I completely forgot that I was _partners_ with _William_ in that class.

I groaned out loud. I don't think I'd make it another day without killing him. For what he did to Cecily and what he did to my eyes.

I want to bleach them so I can unsee what I had saw. The thing that had ruined my appetite.

We walk into class with three minutes to spare.

Headmaster Branwell was there. Apparently she taught science?

I thought she ran the school, maybe I was wrong.

Right as the ding of the bell sounded, Will and Jessamine walked into class. Followed by Jem and the rest of the Shadowhunters. Jessamine trying to set me on fire with her eyes.

Cecily took an audible gasp and grabbed my hand.

She squeezed and I squeezed back, until we both had cut off each other's circulation to one's hand.

We let go when Headmaster began to speak.

"Welcome class, I am Mrs. Branwell in this class and everywhere else, Headmaster Branwell. We have a new student to this school, which, rarely ever happens, Miss. Theresa Gray," she introduces. I didn't know what to do, so I sat there, indifferent.

"Come on up," she prompts and I groan inwardly. The Shadowhunters snicker.

My face flushes and with a huff, I head up there and look at Cecily so that I wouldn't murder anyone. Though, I allowed myself to try to set them to flames with my eyes. Too bad it only works with people who have Laser Eyes like Superman.

"So, where did you come from?" she asks me. She seemed to actually have interest in the questions she was asking. Her eyes were bright, eager.

"I came from New York," I reply, fidgeting with my hands a little.

A gasp went around the room, even the Shadowhunters hadn't seen this coming. It made my smile grow bigger, until it could probably seemed to be a smirk. I thought my accent had completely given it away. Apparently, they are all as dumb as cows, probably even dumber, all except Cecily, who had guessed while we talked about classes.

"An American girl?" she asks, amused like she had no idea.

But she had read my file. She must have known.

"Yeah, that's my home," I say, a little forlorn creeping into my voice. I curse myself silently for showing any weakness at all. Especially in front of the feelingless.

I look down to the floor, cheeks probably tomato-red.

"What is your favorite book?" Mrs. Branwell asks me.

"A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens," I reply, earning some snickers from the back of the class, where the Shadowhunters sat. Why did they choose snicker now, they had plenty to snicker in Advanced Lit. where I had admitted it for the first time.

I glare at them, before looking at Cecily again. She looked about on the verge of laughter.

"What are the two things you miss most about New York?" she asks me.

"Uh...well for one, I miss the sunny sky, but I really miss my friends," I say, gulping back the tears that threatened to spill over.

She motions for me to take my seat, and I do, greatful that for now, the questioning was over.

"So the lesson for today is.." she starts and that's how science went. No more interruptions from the Shadowhunters, no nothing. I allowed myself to tune her out, for I had already been given the lecture on how to use a microscope. But most students here, including Cecily, seemed like they'd been waiting for this forever. Like they'd never used a microscope before.

Strange.

If anything, I'd expected that I'd have to do something for them that I've never done, but that seems so casual to them.

Now that I think about it. I do.

The Nightly Party.

And yet, they've never used a microscope.

By the Angel, these people need to readjust their priorities.

Class is dismissed and I say goodbye to Cecily, for I was heading to history as she was heading to Advanced Lit.

The history lecture drones on, making me want to collapse with exhaustion. It had been one of the longest days of my entire life. And I had to sleep in a new room, again.

At least at my other school, they tried to make it somewhat fun. Perhaps by having us learn without a textbook.

Perhaps sometimes by making jokes.

But no, not here. Not at the Institute.

By the time the class had ended, I was using my fingers to push my eyelids open. I trudged up to my dorm and plopped on my bed, falling asleep instantly.

I awoke to the sound of Cecily opening the dorm door and yelling at me.

She told me to get my lousy butt up to the dinner hall. Apparently I had slept the whole afternoon away, for it was 5:30 and time for dinner.

I promised myself that I'd call my friends when I returned, before Cecily and I left for the Nightly Party.

I trudged up and followed Cecily out the door, not caring what I looked like.

I probably looked like a zombie, but I didn't care one bit. I don't care what Will thinks of me, nor do I care what Jessamine, Gabriel, Gideon, Jem, and their girls think of me. I just don't.

I know something must be wrong with me because everyone else seemed to obsess with what everyone else thought of them.

When Cecily and I arrived, we were right on time, not late, but seemingly everyone else was already in the dining hall, including the Shadowhunters.

Cecily and I look at each other before we both look down, cheeks inflamed. We got dinner and sat down at where we sat for breakfast. Everyone was staring at us.

Oh right, we didn't attend lunch.

The funny thing is, none of them should care. Not a single one of them.

Well, Will should care, but I highly doubt he does, so I do my best to ignore the feeling of eyes watching me fill my stomach.

I groan and Cecily and I begin talking. We talk about class experiences and I tell her about having to be partners with Will in Advanced Lit. and she gives me her sympathies. I also tell her about beating Will at knife throwing and she could hardly believe her ears.

It wasn't long after that she began to laugh at the way I described Will and the boy Shadowhunters arguing about it all.


	11. Chapter 11

It turns out, that she didn't have such an eventful day, I mean, it is probably because she didn't have two or more of the Shadowhunters in nearly all of her classes, but I don't mention it.

We don't realize that we aren't alone until it is too late.

"So Cecily, how was your experience with the teachers?" I ask her, taking a sip of my water, for I loathed soda.

"Pretty good, except Mr. Lightwood, I don't necessarily like him, I mean, ugh!" she exclaims, throwing her hands into the air.

I laugh along with her. "I don't like him either, he's the one that called me out in front of everyone in the entire gym. He wanted to see what I was made of, gym seems more like Murder 101 than gym," I inform her, and she looks really confused.

"That is how gym is everywhere else, right?" she asks me.

"Not even close! We play sports and run and play sports and get graded on running. Honestly though, Murder 101 sounds a little better than other gym," I tell her, chuckling.

"Oh well, I guess it's just another thing you're going to have to get used to here," she says with a sigh.

"Oh that reminds me, your outfit came today!" she squealed, "I didn't look at it, but man, they must've been in a hurry to get it to you."

I squeal. "I can't wait to see it!"

"Now has Mr. Lightworm always been the way he is now?" I ask her.

"Mr. Light _worm_?" she asks me, like she's going to burst out laughing within seconds. She does.

"That is the best! Tessa! You genius! _Mr. Lightworm has always been dreadful, but I do think that it is getting increasingly hard to deal with him, don't you think, Miss Gray_?" she asks me, impersonating someone who is fancy, trading her Welsh accent for a British one. I laugh and she joins in.

Then, someone coughs, not a real cough, a trying-to-get-your-attention cough. My insides turn to mush. We slowly turn to see who had tried to get our attention.

Who happened to be sitting on the other side of the table that we hadn't paid any attention to.

There sat the Shadowhunters. All of them. Jem, Jessamine, Gabriel, Gideon and Will.

By the Angel!

WHY?

Cecily gasped and turned to me, both of our faces flushed with embarrassment.

What in the name of the Angel did they want now?

"Yes?" I ask as calmly as I could muster. Cecily and I grab each other's hand and squeeze for the seconds that felt like minutes they took to reply.

"They've never acknowledged me before, they never seem to care, why are they here now?" she whispers to me and I feel my stomach drop. Of course I had forgotten completely about my promise. The promise to teach them how to throw knives. But I had hoped they would forget too, especially now, I didn't have any want to be anywhere near these people.

"Cecily, you are coming to the Nightly Party, are you not?" Gabriel asked. I looked at her with confuzzled eyes. She stares back at me with the same eyes. I have to tap her on the leg to get her to respond.

"What's it to you?" she asked, looking at our intertwined hands the whole time. "It's not like you even care, Will doesn't care either and I was seriously hoping Tessa had given both Will and Jessamine a concussion, but, unfortunately, they both seem to have a thick skull."

I snort to keep myself from laughing. I mouth the words 'me too' to her and she smirks.

"Tessa giving Will and Jessamine a concussion? What's this about?" Jem asked us.

"Oh just that Will and Jessamine decided to kiss on _my_ bed and I wasn't having any of it, _especially_ with how much it hurt Cecily," I tell him. I tried to make it sound like no big deal. Even though, it was one of the biggest reasons for my murder planning.

"What, _exactly_ , did you do?" Gideon asked me, sounding quite amused.

"Well, I pushed them off my bed and into the corridor before slamming the door in their faces. I had hoped that I actually hit their faces," I say. Will scowls while Jessamine crosses her arms and stares at me with such intensity I'm afraid that my face might blow up. "Unfortunately, I missed, but that doesn't mean they're going to get away with hurting my roommate."

They stare at me, Gideon looking amused, Gabriel on the verge of laughter, and Jem with the are-you-serious look. I cock my head.

"Is there a problem?" I ask.

"Why do you care so much about Cecily?" Will questions.

I look at him, trying to get him to realize what a horrible brother he's been. I want to get into that thick skull and give him a taste of pain, real pain, something he'd never of thought existed. The kind of pain Cecily and I've been through.

"Why wouldn't I? She's my roommate," I say harshly, whilst holding up our intertwined hands to the rest of the Shadowhunters, "and apparently her brother doesn't even love her, or care about her. So I'm her sister, besides my brother kicked me out too. We have each other, in ways that you don't even understand, in ways you'd never understand."

No one said anything. We sat there listening to the conversations from the other tables that, somehow, had nothing to do with the oh spectacular Shadowhunters sitting at Cecily and I's table.

I look around, hoping to spot Sophie, to make my escape with Cecily, but see her not. I mentally groan and look at Cecily, who is staring intentally at Will and Jessamine.

Will staring back at her, Jessamine staring at me. Gabriel staring at Cecily, Gideon staring at me.

Jem flicks his eyes between the two of us.

I wasn't paying attention enough until now to notice the girls that were with Gabriel and Gideon earlier weren't here now. It mustn't have been anything serious.

Then, I saw Sophie, she walked in and looked around, eyes stopping when she saw me.

I got up, feeling all the stares from what was left of the Shadowhunter group hit me as I walk to her.

"Wanna sit by me today?" I ask. She nods then looks at the table. She takes a breath in to start speaking, but I don't let her. "I have no idea why they're there. Perhaps Will just wanted to see what Cecily was doing today."

I grab her arm and literally drag her over to the table and pull her into the seat next to me.


	12. Chapter 12

"Cecily, this is Sophie, Sophie, this is Cecily," I introduce.

"Hi!" Cecily says cheerfully.

"Hi," Sophie says shyly.

"Ahem," Will interrupts, and I turn and face him. "But the only reason we came over here was to see if Cecily was coming to the party or not."

"And that is an answer you shall never receive, good day, sir," I say before motioning for him and the rest of them to leave the table. None of them made any sort of move.

" _I_ want you to come, Cecily," Gabriel tells her, a blush slowly creeping across his face.

"What do you mean?" Cecily asked him and his face turns beet red.

"I'm Gideon," Gideon introduces to Sophie, holding his hand out for her to shake.

Sophie takes his hand and blushes. "Sophia Collins."

His face turns a dark crimson.

"Cecily," Gabriel says, trying to get her attention. She peeled her eyes off Sophie and Gideon to glare at him.

"What do you want?" she asks him.

"I want-" he starts. " _Would you come to the party with me?_ " he asks, ultra fast. Cecily blinks a few times before turning to me. She looked at me wide-eyed. I shrug and motion for her to continue.

"Uh..sure," she replies and he smiles. That was when I noticed how much Will was frowning.

"Cecily!" he scolds.

"William!" she repeats in the same tone.

"You like _Gabriel_? _Gabriel Lightworm_?" he asks her, anger showing through his surprised voice. Gabriel gasps.

"My name is Gabriel Light _wood_!" he insists.

For once, I think about agreeing with Will, but keep my mouth glued shut. The first reason, Will has a big enough ego to fill the entire planet, second reason, Cecily may or may not like this Gabriel. So I won't say anything offensive, except for calling their dad Mr. Lightworm.

"Will! What I do is none of your concern! You haven't cared about anything I've done since Ella and you started hanging out with _them_ ," she screamed whilst motioning to the Shadowhunters.

He looks down. "What's different, Will? Please come back, I've missed _you_. Not this whole facade you. The real you. You, the brother that _loves_ me and wants _the best for me_ , where did he go?" she asked, tears brimming her eyes, making her voice thick. I want to reach out, to help her.

Unfortunately, this time, it is not my place to do something like that.


	13. Chapter 13 Will's POV

Will's POV

This was something I couldn't stand.

Tessa.

Defending _my_ sister, as if she were her own. She cares so much, just as I do, except she is able to tell people about it.

She is able to help her.

She is able to show Cecily the love and kindness I wish to show her.

I can't. There is no comfort I can bring her without something happening to her. Just like with Ella.

She trusted me so unbelievably much.

That was a mistake she should have never have had to pay for.

It was costly too. The cost of her life.

So when Cecily started to scream about how I wasn't supposed to care, how I hadn't cared. I wanted to die.

I wanted to hug her. Call her my little cariad.

"What's different, Will? Please come back, I've missed _you_. Not this whole facade you. The real you. You, the brother that _loves_ me and wants _the best for me_ , where did he go?" she asks me, tears thickening her voice.

The back of my eyes started to sting, burning with an increasing, alarming rate. There was nothing that I could do. I stand up, abruptly, to walk away when I see Tessa glare at me.

The look of shame.

 _You don't deserved to be loved, you cannot be loved_ the voice that was constantly there reminded me.

Of course, I didn't. I was the reason she was dead. Her eyes were glossy as she fell.

The cold of her hand when I touched it one last time in the casket.

The pain when we covered her in dirt.

The self-hatred I felt as mom and dad cried over the loss of their eldest child.

The walk away was one of the hardest that I have encountered. As soon as I started to walk away, Cecily turned to Tessa and began sobbing into her uniform shirt.

That undid me.

Tears started flowing from my eyes and I was grateful no one decided to follow me.

Tessa doing the job I should be doing. The job I could not do.

I collapse on my bed as I clutch the bedding between my fingers. The very bedding that had been destroyed by Tessa as she played Truth or Dare with my sister.

I despise everything Tessa represents. It's bad enough that I have to deal with wanting to comfort my sister and be something better to Jem.

Now she's added a whole new level.

Cecily may be my weakness.

Jem may be the better half of me.

But Tessa _could be_ my heart.

She loves A Tale of Two Cities.

She has courage and bravery I have not seen in anyone else.

But worst of all, what makes me fall so hard, she loves, she loves so hard, even though she knows the consequences.

She loves everyone anyway.

That is something I am afraid I couldn't even do, even when I could love.

I want to be with her, to have her love me, for we both speak the language of books. But love is something that I cannot have.

There was so much that I wanted, that I once had taken for granted. To be able to be loved. But it was all too late now.

What's done is done.


	14. Chapter 14

Tessa's POV

When Will walked away, I glared at him. How dare he let his sister feel like that? He doesn't deserve her as a sister, he doesn't deserve to be able to break her as he just did. I take her back to our dorm, with her looking rather pale. She collapsed on her bed, looking awfully tired.

"Tessa?" she asks, voice breaking. I whip around to see her with tears streaming down her face, ruining her mascara.

"Cecily, I'm so sorry about your brother. I-" I started, but she cut me off.

"We are still going, I can't ruin our plans just because I hoped for something that wasn't ever going to happen," she informs me.

"What do you want to do?"

"We are going to get ready," she says, pulling herself off the bed. Grabbing my hand, she dragged me to the bathroom where she did my make-up and I cleaned her face and polished it.

She grabbed my dress from the box, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It's good to see Magnus didn't go too crazy with the glitter, just enough. Which also happened to be a lot. We picked out a dress for her and we were ready.

We looked spectacular, her in her emerald green dress, me in my sparkly sunset dress. I texted the group chat between my friends from my other school and I a picture of me in my dress and then one of Cecily in her deep green dress. I didn't get to see their replies, for we left immediately to the party.

As we were walking down, I grabbed her hand, trying to calm my nerves. It was my first day here and my first Nightly Party here, though I am hoping it will be my last.

We open the doors, arriving a little late, but to no matter. The room seems to be pulsing and everyone on the dance floor, even some of them who were on the sidelines, were pulsing as well. They swayed, they drank, they moved their feet to the same rhythm that the music was spitting out to them. The lights were pulsing with the music, enhancing the effect.

In the corner, Will is dancing with Jessamine, while some girls and boys are staring at them both jealously.

I search the crowd for Gabriel, finding him and I poke Cecily in the arm.

"He's right there!" I whisper-shout to her. She whips to where I was pointing and her face turns a deeper color of velvet.

"But he's wearing a tux! I could never...he would never...I-" she starts, but I wouldn't let her give this opportunity up.

"Just go! Have fun! Live a little!" I command in a teasing tone. She glances over me, to see if I was joking, then she starts to walk toward him. I watch from a distance.

I watch him do a double take when he sees her. He must've asked her to dance, as he holds his hand out she takes it, and he pulls her to the dance floor.

I am happy for her, she finally gets some happiness. But I have no idea what to do. In social situations, like the one I am in now, I have never been very good. Sometimes Clary and Isabelle would go to parties and drag me with them. It was fun, mostly because they were there and we made fun of all the people at the party. Then we would dance on our own, sometimes Jace and Simon would be there, laughing hysterically at the sight we created.

I wince at the memory. It is only a reminder of what I've lost.

I want to go back to them. Watching Gabriel and Cecily dance, Gabriel twirling Cecily as Magnus would do to Alec, reminds me I don't belong here.

I never have.

I never will.

I want to run back into our dorm and curl up on the bed. Have it turn into a portal would be my own personal recommendation.

Cecily holds up something metal, abruptly ending my fantasizing, and the realization dawns on me that those were Will's dorm keys, our dorm key, and his dorm key. She began laughing and tossed them lightly to where I happened to be standing. Catching them effortlessly, I immediately began to walk out of the party.

Unfortunately, I forgot about looking up at the door as I walked out…

And I ran into Jem. Why couldn't it have been Will? I think, startling myself more than anything. Why should I want it to be Will? I should be happy it's Jem. Then why, just why did I feel overly disappointed.

My cheeks flamed as I look at the silver haired boy that was a Shadowhunter, one I couldn't wrap my mind around.

"Where are you going, the party hasn't even really started yet," Jem informs me before grabbing my hand and pulling me back through the door.

"I can't...I shouldn't...Jem! Stop!" I try to protest, but he just laughs and continues to pull me towards the dance floor.

He twirls me and then lets go of my hand to start moving like a chicken on the dance floor. I cover my mouth so I don't laugh, but I couldn't lie, it was quite amusing.


	15. Chapter 15 Jem's POV

Jem's POV

I catch Tessa trying to leave early. She wore a mask of emotion and I knew what it meant; I'd been through it too. If it wasn't for Will… I don't know where I'd be. Fortunately, she makes it easy for me and runs right into my chest.

"Where are you going? The party hasn't even really started yet," I tell her before taking her hand and dragging her through the door, back into the party. I look over and see Will dancing with Jessamine. Quietly, I sigh to myself. I knew that wasn't who he was- I got a glimpse of who he was just before something happened. He denies it, won't tell me there's anything different. But I know. I can sense it.

Tessa struggles against me. "I can't… I shouldn't… Jem! Stop!" she commanded me. Nothing was going to make a difference, so I laugh and tug her to the dance floor.

I pray I took enough medicine to last this out.

I twirl her and finally let go of her hand, trusting her, and start dancing on my own, mimicking what she was being earlier today, but there was nothing funny about the way she looked earlier. To others, maybe.

Me?

It was bad.

When someone looks like she did, like she had no purpose, like she didn't belong, nothing good could come of it.

 _When she looks like you did_ , that all-knowing voice reminds me. I wince trying to flush out those thoughts; they were what got me here in the first place after all.

With the change of the music, loud and pulsing to slow and legato, I pull her towards me and we begin to waltz. She seems startled by my sudden stop to her quiet shy dancing, but eventually calms herself down.

She stumbles a few times, and it takes everything in me to not burst out laughing. She was beautiful in that sparkle-filled sunset dress, and I faintly wonder where she got it from. It must be an American thing.

Self consciously, she keeps her eyes trained on her feet, trying to make them focus and I smile. I can only imagine what Will despises in her.

She loves books- better yet, she loves Dickens, just as Will does. She has courage. She is caring, loving. The Will I met before he changed would have loved her, but now it's quite the opposite. Something changed. I know that much.

But no matter how close we are, he never seems to want to tell me what. All I know is that I am the only one who sees some bits of the boy he used to be. Jessamine never does, never will. That's why he dates her. Or, excuse me, 'dates her'.

Anyways, he doesn't really care for her. This I know. He needs her for a cover up for something. Cecily, he cares about. He pushes her away. He cares about me, too. But he shows it.

I wish I knew why.

He reminds me to take my medicine when I forget to take it. He never complains like he does with others, instead helps me take it with a caring hand.

I wonder if Will is only acting when he is around - _ouch_.

Tessa steps on my toe while dancing. "Sorry," she apologizes while her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

I smile lightly.

"What's this?" I hear Will ask, angrily. I whip around to see Will talking to Gabriel and Cecily, who were calmly slow dancing before. Gabriel and Gideon had dismissed their 'girls' earlier today. Gabriel claiming he was going to ask someone else to the dance. Gideon saying he had a crush on Sophie Collins.

I had no idea Gabriel was interested in Will's little sister.

For someone who wasn't supposed to be protective, he sure was.

"Cecily Herondale. What. Are. You. Doing?"

Just as much as he saves me, I have to save him. I pull away from Tessa and go to stand by him, tugging on his shoulder.

"Come on, Will. Let them be. Nothing was happening," I try to reason with him.

He snorts. "You say nothing, I say this worm was dancing with my sister," he says with a hard edge in his voice. Hearing this, Cecily looks at him, with ice in her eyes.

"And dancing is worse than making out this the school whore?" she retorts. Gasps are audible from throughout the dance floor. Jessamine starts to shuffle over, followed by some onlookers and stares at Cecily, like one would stalk their prey.

Tessa pushes her way through the crowd to stand by Cecily. Will glares at her, but not without a look flashing across his face. A look of...disbelief?

Nevertheless, he recovers quickly. I'd have to ask about it later.

"I thought I taught you better, Cecily. What would Mother and Father say? You just called Jessamine a _whore_?" he asks, taunting like.

Tessa looks at Cecily, pride clear in her eyes. She laughs, this high-pitched squeal of delight as she high-fives Cecily.

"You're the best!" Tessa announces joyously.

Jessamine growls and I can't help but feel a small twinge of fear. Jessamine can ruin Tessa and Cecily's lives.

Will eyes the two, who seem like sisters. "You've grown awfully attached to her, haven't you, Cecily?"

Gabriel butts in. I have the urge to facepalm and tell Gabriel to keep his mouth shut.

"You're seriously just figuring this out? I figured it out at lunch. I mean, man. The way she looked me over as I asked Cecily to the dance was harsh. I scared for my life man, literally scared...for...my life?" Will was giving Gabriel the death stare.

He gulped. "I'd run...like right now," I urge him. "Will," I try to reason, "let's be smart."


	16. Chapter 16

Tessa's POV:

The flames in Will's eyes remind me of my Aunt-stubborn and feisty, especially when it came to Nate and I. She was never one to lose her temper with us, but rather to others whom were mean to us.

When I was six, one girl, Maia, whispered something about another girl, whom was new to the school, saying that she came from a poor family and warned me not to hang out with her. I wasn't popular at all, but that struck home. Regardless of what was going through my head, I informed the teacher and got in trouble for being a 'tattle-tale'. My aunt didn't have any of that.

Hence, we moved to a new school where I met Clary, who led me to Simon, who led me to Isabelle, who led me to Alec, who led me to Jace, who led me to Magnus. At the time, getting in trouble for being a tattle-tale was horrible. My stomach dropped, danced, and did little flips all over the place as I waited for my Aunt's response. Of course, it also happened to be the best choice of my entire life.

I was never alone after meeting Isabelle and Clary. Many people tried to throw our friendship into ruins because of jealousy, but it never worked. We fought, I'm not even going to try to deny it, but in the end, we weren't complete without each other and we worked all the kinks out.

"I'd run… like, right now," Jem hints to Gabriel, bringing me back to the moment. Gabriel darted for the door, no longer caring for how it looked. I wasn't staring at Will, hopefully, but the flame in his eyes is haunting, reminding me of the one person I felt the most utter respect for, and who respected me. The one who taught me that respect is earned and most of my other life lessons.

The one that was my mother, since she and my father left the earth too soon. I pray they are still watching me among the other stars. Hopefully they are all proud of me.

"Will, let's be smart," Jem states, trying to reason with the unreasonable. I knew this wasn't going last. Gabriel was smart. He got out of there quicker than lightning. Which, I suppose, is saying that he was traveling at an impossible speed for humans on foot, but there is no time for specifics.

Cecily looks at me with wide blue eyes, strikingly similar to those of Will. The only difference these were filled with fear rather than flames. _Go_ I mouth to her. She nods, and runs quick as a whip away and back to our room.

I think of following her, but I feel inclined to stay, I feel glued to the floor. It was Will. He wasn't going to hurt me, he wasn't going to let Jessamine hurt me either.

What even gave me this idea? Will has been nothing but cruel to me, to Cecily, to Gabriel, to everyone, except, perhaps Jem. But I have no idea what's going on there.

Jessamine begins to circle me. I swear she's thinking about eating me, black darkness clouds her chocolate brown eyes. Jealousy?

How could anyone be anything close to jealous of me? I'm Tessa Gray, the plainest person you'll ever meet. With Jessamine's long blonde hair, deep chocolate eyes and fair tanned skin, was there anything she could possibly be jealous of me about?

"Miss Gray, we meet again, do we not?" Jessamine asks carefully, as if I wouldn't understand. As if I couldn't understand the common English. I bit back the mouthful of retorts I wish to speak, many of them rude and inappropriate for the time being.

"I do believe so, unless this is all a dream. Would it not be fascinating that I dreamt up this whole encounter, or even better, your whole character. Maybe I read it from a book somewhere," I tell her, trying my best to sound as kind as possible. Even though, the words were far from kind.

Her confused face said it all. She didn't understand insults of high intelligence. Not that it was meant to confuse her, I had intended for her to understand it.

I turn to go, and happily find no one tries to stop me. Thank the Angel.

Jessamine is staring completely dumbfoundedly after me, Will is still pacing around the outskirts of the dance floor and Jem is trying to reassure him, patting his back.

I don't run, but rather I fast walk back to the dorm. Cecily was there, already asleep in her pajamas. I drop the keys in our closet, hidden behind my shelf of books.

I stare at the wall covered with books, the only part of my home that was actually portable. Plopping down on the bed, I take out my computer and check Skype. I have one video message from Clary.

 _Hey Tessa. It's unbelievable you've been gone for two days now. It still doesn't feel real. In the mornings, I still expect to see you by your locker so we can go to Calc together. Alec even misses you, even though he said he would be the strongest. None of us are doing good at staying strong like we promised you. We're sorry we aren't staying strong. Just, no one here feels the same without you, it never will. You were the light of our group, the person that made everything worth doing. Difficulties are happening already, even the teachers aren't happy with you leaving, you know you were always their favorite. I know you're busy and everything, and maybe you even like it there. But please come home soon and stay for awhile, or, even better, come home forever, you can live with me. I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind, you've always been her favorite of my friends. Well, anyways, it's late. I was supposed to go to bed, like, thirty minutes ago. Goodnight Tessa. Please come back._

I couldn't move.

What had I done?

Closing my computer, I lay in bed, mind too overrun with thoughts to catch a wink of sleep. Though I was way beyond tired.

I finally found sleep at three in the morning, only four hours before breakfast and three hours before waking time.

The beeping of my alarm triggered an immediate groan from me. I hadn't gotten enough sleep.

Cecily rolled over in her bed and bounced out, still cheerful from the night before.

"I call the bathroom," she called, obnoxiously loud. I sat up in my bed, stretching, muscles still sore from the day before.

I walked into the closet and pulled out my uniform, changing quickly, and I switch immediately with Cecily.

I brush my hair, pulling it back into a ponytail before walking out of the bathroom and heading downstairs to breakfast, Cecily trailing a bit ahead of me, waiting as I lock the door.

"Gabriel was so sweet as we danced. He complimented my outfit and he was a amazing dancer!" Cecily informed me, sounding so happy and dazed, forgetting all about her brother. Now, why can't I do that?

I felt happy for her, that wasn't fake, but I did have this tug at my heart. This is what Clary and Isabelle would be saying to me usually. Not Cecily. I'm not even supposed to know Cecily.

I am supposed to be with Clary and Isabelle, telling them how lucky they are to have Jace and Simon, and them trying to find me 'the perfect guy'. I've never been kissed, never dated anyone. The closest thing I've done to that was hang out with a guy once and awhile and report back to Clary and Isabelle whether I thought I could be with said guy or not.

Needless to say, none of them were right for me.

We reach the dining hall and I select french toast to eat. The only thing on my mind being _one more week and six more days_. I repeated that in my head as I took my seat next to Cecily.

We eat our meals, her chatting about her romantic twenty minutes of dancing with Gabriel before Will intervened. Sometime along, Sophie came and sat down.

"Hey," we greeted. She then proceeded to talk about her night. Which was full of dancing just like Cecily's. Only, she got the other Lightwood brother, Gideon.

"Tessa, how was your night?" Sophie asks me, curiously.

"It was fine, I didn't do much," was my only response. They both had prodigious nights, I was content with hearing about them.

"Is that so?" Cecily asks me, raising her eyebrows.

I look at her questioningly. "What do you mean 'is that so'?"

She and Sophie shared a look. One that basically translated to 'Is she serious?'.

"We saw you dancing with Jem," Sophie informs me. So that's what they were talking about. It was nothing, he was only trying to be kind. Or maybe he was only suspicious of me. Either way, nothing happened.

Well, if nothing happened, why did my cheeks begin to boil as soon as they asked me?

"It was nothing," I tell them nonchalantly, brushing it off, though I remember every twirl he sent me through, every single thought. And they weren't about him. They were about the one Cecily calls her brother, a monster.

They both giggle, as if I'd said the most hilarious thing. "Nothing?!" Cecily exclaimed. "That could _not_ have been nothing. Jem is one of the kindest people I've ever met. He knew my brother a few weeks before he changed, but Jem has stuck with him ever since. I don't know why, though, poor Jem has to deal with Jessamine. Anyways, he hasn't shown any preference in anyone, like, ever. That can't be 'nothing'!"

I'm taken aback. Will used to be different?

Of course, I hear all about Jem, and the only thing I pull out from that was something about Will. What is wrong with me?

Sophie and Cecily are staring at me, eagerly, hungry for information on my dancing with Jem. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to know what Will used to be like, back in the day.

"He probably only wanted to be kind," was all I said. What more was there to say. Nothing did happen.

Nothing at all.


	17. Chapter 17 Cecily's POV

Cecily's POV:

"He probably only wanted to be kind," was Tessa's response to Jem dancing with her.

Oh BS!

Jem hasn't done anything with anyone since the dawn of time. He never went on dates, never asked anyone out, especially never danced with anyone.

The way he was looking at Tessa, how he had to rip his eyes away from her to go help Will (Ugh, Will, you always ruin the most romantic of moments) was just plain adorable. Yes, Gabriel and I had a great time, but my eyes couldn't help but to wander to Tessa, who was dancing with the person who never dances.

This was a big deal, and she was acting like it was absolutely nothing.

How could she ever believe that?

That, or she's being modest.

Or Jem asked her not to say anything before he went to go help Will.

Or they are already secretly dating! I know, I know, I'm getting way ahead of myself. But if nothing happened, then why did Tessa blush when I asked her about it, like she was avoiding it this whole time?

There must be something she isn't telling us. Nothing else could explain the way her face switched colors immediately when the topic was brought up. Why wouldn't she want to talk about it? It's Jem! He is pretty cute, not hot, but cute.

But _perfect_ for Tessa.

I give Sophie THE-look and she raised her eyebrows at Tessa as well.

"Tessa, dancing with someone isn't nothing and Jem is always kind, but he doesn't ask anyone to dance," Sophie told her, a hint of envy in her voice.

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Surely he's danced with someone before," Tessa assumed. At our blank stares she adds on, "Surely he's liked someone before?" but her confidence was lost.

She stared blankly at us.

"You mean to tell me no one-"

"No one, Tessa, only you!" I tell her enthusiastically.

She stares at me, wide-eyed. Disbelievement, surprised, and a twinge of fear was plastered on her face, clear as day. Maybe I read her wrong. Perhaps she doesn't like him. But hasn't everyone at least thought about dating Jem?

What if she had someone back at home that she wasn't talking to. Maybe it was Alec or Magnus!

"Do you have anyone back at home? Alec or Magnus perhaps?" I ask her, curiosity getting the best of me.

Astonished.

And definitely not in a good way. In a I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that way.

That was one thing I didn't expect to see written all over her face.

"No! No no no no no," she rushed to reassure us. "Magnus and Alec are together, they are so cute together." She looked at us and giggled. "Malec forever!"

After staring blankly at her for a few seconds I finally understood. They were gay.

As far as I know, no one at this school is gay. But maybe people didn't want people to know? But that didn't mean it wasn't as adorbs as any other couple!

"How long have they been together?" I ask her, excitement flowing through all of my words.

"Since the dawn of time," she tells Sophie and I, giggling. "No one really remembers a time without them being together."

Sophie smiles lightly. She doesn't seem uncomfortable, just more surprised.

"So…" I prompt her. "Tell us everything about Gideon!"

Sophie's face turned a shade of deep ruby red. Even deeper than Tessa's face had been when I asked her about Jem.

"He-he's very kind," she stuttered. Tessa's grin took up her whole face. I began laughing and in no time at all, Sophie and Tessa were laughing with me.

What a bunch of giggling idiots!

"That's all?" Tessa asks, suggestively and flirtatiously. I bite the inside of my cheek in attempt to keep myself from laughing.

Sophie hits Tessa's arm, lightly and teasingly, her blush turning even deeper (if that was even possible) shade of red.

"It doesn't hurt that he's handsome…" Sophie admits, sending us into a fit of laughter yet again.

In the corner of my eye, I catch Will whispering urgently to Jem and Jem looking sick. Jem is deathly pale, but when Will realizes this, he brings deathly pale to a whole new level.

I watch as Will half carries Jem out of the room, probably taking him back to their dorm, without anyone realizing. Well, except me of course.

Why did he look so afraid? What does he fear?

He doesn't care about anyone or anything, right?

But...he was about to pound Gabriel's face in last night when he was dancing with me, he obviously cares for Jem. The worry on his face haunted me.

It reminded me of the time when I fell out of the big oak tree by our house that he dared me to climb. Ella rushed over and Will did too. He looked so frightened, and not just that he knew he was going to get in trouble.

He looked scared for me.

But Ella was gone now. And with her, she took Will. My brother. It's hard not to think she was selfish, taking him with her as she lost the light in her eyes. Her death hurt me, but not like it hurt Will. I know that it hurt him. Unfortunately, him being the relentless Will he was, would never admit to something being wrong. He never cried with us, not even at the funeral. His face was stern and hard, and not long after that, that became his normal day-to-day expression.

I take that back. He did cry.

But he didn't mean for me to hear. I know he didn't.

I haven't had the guts to admit to him that I heard his midnight wails.


	18. Chapter 18 Flashback Will's Wails

Will's Wails

 _It was the night after her funeral. Ella was gone. They buried her in attempt to bury their feelings._

 _But nothing would help the Herondales mourn the loss of their eldest child. Nothing seemed to take away the grief, nothing to help remember her less, nothing to patch the Ella-sized-hole that had been created in their heart._

 _Cecily Herondale, the youngest, was awoken with the screaming of her sister ringing through her ears in yet another nightmare, keeping her up all night._

 _Only being a quarter past midnight, Cecily was about to head downstairs to grab a drink, wash the tears from her cheeks_

 _She heard the creak of a door opening a small way, then shutting quietly._

Will _Cecily thought._ Is that you?

 _After a few moments of silence, the crying began. It was undeniably Will, her parents slept in a room on the other side of their house, but Will's was just next to her's. And Ella's right across from his._

 _His crying startled her, beginning quietly, but slowly he began to increase the volume to which they were at. Will thought no one was listening. He thought everyone was sound asleep, so he allowed himself to cry louder._

 _Young Cecily Herondale heard her brother's cries, heard his pleas for their sister to come back. That he didn't mean it._

 _What Will didn't mean was unknown to Cecily. She kept listening, regardless._

 _An uncomfortable feeling settled over. She felt she was being intrusive._

 _She wanted to comfort her brother. Assure him that whatever he thought he did, he didn't. Tell him that this didn't change anything. Confide in him her secrets and her fears for Mommy and Daddy._

" _I didn't mean it, Ella. Come back. Take my place. I don't deserve it," Will repeated until it became an unconscious whisper, all jumbled up. No indication that was what he was repeating until he rendered himself unconscious at all._

 _Cecily fell asleep soon after, remembering Will's cold face at the funeral. His emotionless face. How he refrained from crying, while his family sobbed until they were dehydrated from the amount of tears they shed for Ella._

 _He didn't comfort them either, just stood there. Like he was a ghost._

 _Cecily planned to confront him in the morning. She planned it all out in her head, their reunion, how they would bring the family back together. How she would fight away his nightmares and he hers._

 _But that opportunity never came._

 _Will had sent himself back to boarding school, immediately, all the way in London. It would be two years before she was able to go, she would have to stay in the school that was only two blocks away from their house._

 _And, within the time frame of a week, two of the Herondale children were gone._

 _Joy was reduced, stress and grief overwhelmed Mr and Mrs. Herondale, causing fights to break out within moments of the two arriving home from work over matters as simple as whose turn it was to cook dinner._

 _Cecily became an only child. It hurt too much to talk about Ella, and whenever Will was mentioned, her parents filled with rage._

It's his fault _they'd insist._ He left in a time that we needed him. A time we needed to be a family. He's the reason we're broken.

 _Cecily knew they hadn't heard his cries. His self blame._

 _But they didn't have to be so cruel, did they?_

 _It couldn't have been Will's fault for their behavior. He was far away, all the way in London._

 _Cecily made herself promise that no matter how much her parents begged her not to, no matter how much she didn't want to, she would go to the boarding school. She promised this for Will. For how much she loved him._

He must be suffering so much _she told herself. And she really did believe that. She believed that he was friendless, still broken, still crying every night for their lost sister._

 _He never came home for Thanksgiving, nor for Christmas, and not for Spring Break either. Each time, Cecily would wait up all night, praying and hoping that for once he'd come home, even if it was just to see her, even if it be only for one night and he didn't want their parents to know._

 _She was losing her sanity. Her parents were filled with grief and rage and they never were the same._

 _She was suddenly envious of Will. He could just leave, she couldn't, she was bound to this hell they called a home for at least another two years, if she was lucky. If she wasn't, she'd be here for the rest of her life, never escaping the endless amount of complaints that her parents had lined up for her._

 _But each time he didn't come home for a break, her hope depleted even further, causing her to swarm in her work, increase her intelligence, she couldn't let anything happen to her anymore, never again._

 _The one thing that kept her going every single day of her life, the thing she'd repeat over and over and over and over again until it got her up was the simple sentence, constructed of three simple words._

Will needs you.


End file.
